Dear whoever/whatever
I just wanted to share off the first ever experience of this thing I had
Face me!! Am not the girly girl who wears heals and does pedicure and who worries how her nails would look…
But CMA- college model angels 2009, made me realize that..cat walk wasn’t only meant for professional models
I always had this part in my life where people criticized my walk. Some say its so like a ‘mother of two’, some say its so masculine, some says its pure gangsta, sum say its cool, some say its scary…
‘owhh..Come what May ‘...
‘Let them say what they want’
I taught at one point. I stopped being bothered and got fed up My walk wasn’t part of the judgment list, well..Not in an everyday life at least. If this was bad.. They should have seen my walk when I was in school. I might not be the favorite lady but I know I am still a good friend. Well all said and done, I was overcoming sum tragedies I had been facing since the beginning of the semester. Too much for a 21 year old, I was suppose to be free this year...And having fun...What happened to all those traditions and stuffs?? No comments..
But some how I managed to get myself into auditioning for cma, thanks to sarveena, ventz, theeban,tulsi and vinod (being here and there)..even my mom was ok about it..and she sonded excited on the phone,(my mom..was totally unbelievable that day,i didnt expect here to be excited,i taught i might just end up getting fired..)..Me and tulsi went in together.. And I had 0% hope to get selected..Mainly..Because the so called gangsta walk I have..i no choice..no heels..i told my mom..And she borrowed me one of her favorite pair..When I wore those shoes I told myself ‘think amma. Walk amma’..i never met any other confident lady, in person like my mom..She inspires me in most of the ways, except for a few that..Well I have to admit…I really cant take as an example..But..She made me...in to a baby and now a full grown lady..So If I fail to walk without falling... (Owh..Did I even mention? That I am really careless…I often fall and hurt myself, sometimes I get scratches and bruises without realizing and knowing where I got them from..That’s how I had to get my feet stitched… careless) I am so going to put her down cause she was like the best high-heel walker for me..And looking at her size..She even dances with heels..Ow..Enough of mom..Can’t stop if I start. So I went in...Feeling really dumb about my self. And yea..As assumed, the judges said ‘Ur not used to heels aren’t u?’ so it as obvious..i had to admit, am not used to this.i didn't fall though..just that..i dunno..its that thing inside that always tells u the truth..like wen u dun do well in Ur exams,every one else says something positive,but this thing called conscious makes u realize the truth?? that conscious thing hit me big time,i knew myself. So I went out, relieved and ashamed at the same time for not being able to walk perfectly,i was ashamed for not being a lady or a female dam,bet children would walk better then i did,i felt like a circus chimp.. but then again,i just joined the audition for fun,no chances of getting in for sure..i was sure I wouldn’t make it,so wat if am an amateur high 'heeler'.(if this description really exist),there was a free photo shoot anyways…I mean 2 free photo shoots..don't wanna screw up that part.
‘Enough of cam whoring, lets hit professional photographers’ *wink*
So I threw away my long face and held up a cheerful look, don’t want to spoil those pictures. I went in and had a heck of a time. I totally brought it out.lol. And this is what It turned out.
And you could tell if I enjoyed myself… I dun care whats gonna happen..as long as I have the experience…like in antm :P..but the judges of cma were all darlings..they were so friendly and so encouraging..it was not like a competition at all…it was like a friendly meeting or something,nothing like I expected…diva’s and all…I liked it..loved the experience…
from the heart-
for me..
like the descrption of the blog
all those mess i had to go through in the month of may may,the begining of the semester, had a break during this time.. i have rise from the mess indeed,even though it was just for a while...it was still worth while..and a few more yet to come, u may want to put me down.. but a minority's say doesnt change the world's opinion,
i cant avoid you critiques or your doings, but at the same time,i cannot avoid the almighty's doings as well and so cant you..i trust 'him' and not you
and u cant really see beautiful and perfect critiques around, coz these critiques never really saw their flaws
so critiques- u don bring me down
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